As I going through the blogposts I’ve written the past few years, I saw that I would almost never write about something negative. When I do, I would always wait for the time that I get out of that problem and learn something from it before I share and put my experience in words. With that said, I guess this is going to be the very first time and I’m worried because it’s been months since my last blogpost and coming back with something as dark as this.
But this blog has always been my outlet and this is what I currently feel… so let this be my way of catching up with you. I really really miss writing. I finally caught up with the times and started to love watching and making Youtube videos. However, there’s just something so different about blogging and I’m sure people who reached the peak of this can relate with me. As I veered away from blogs and stuck with videos and fast online sharing like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, I noticed alot of changes in me too. I didn’t notice it at first, it slowly creeped up on me and now I’m infected. Social media plays a big part of everyone lives not only for people like me who literally calls this work. I wanted to share with you how it’s affected my mental state and I know that I’m not alone with this. I hope that by writing this, you too can be aware and we can do something about it, together :) We’re always in this right, you and me? :) Here’s what I noticed to start to happen to me:
I need to be up to date with everyone and everything, all the time. I used to be aware of becoming like this. I limited myself from screen time that after posting a photo, I would immediately get off Instagram and go on about my offline life. Now that our business rely heavily on these social media applications, my time online multiplied by two. Now, I can get lost just scrolling and scrolling till an hour, two hours, three hours passes by. If I don’t, I feel like I’m missing out.
The importance of relevance. My job entails me to be relevant even if some influencers or content creators would say that “oh I’m mature enough that I don’t care of I’m relevant or not.” but you really do have to. You have to constantly put out unique content, you have to reinvent yourself all the time and it’s all part of it. It’s comes with the job the say and that has affected me in a way where I’m pressured to always do something new so I can post something new all the time.
I have to document EVERYTHING, every single move I make. At the end of the day I feel bad If I don’t get to take a photo or atleast take a video. I feel like it’s a wasted outfit if I don’t get to take an OOTD, it’s a wasted place if I don’t get to take a photo of how beautiful it is or it’s a wasted moment if I don’t get to freeze it in a video. I get annoyed or agitated when the sun’s down because I just missed that moment!
I have to be doing something all the time. Ben has this favorite line to tell me, “just chill, stop what you’re doing and look at nature.” He always tells me that he can never do what i do because I seem to be doing so much and my to do list is never empty. What I realized that it was just me. Social media show just how busy everyone else and I feel like if I’m just sitting down and doing nothing, I’m being lazy.
I got more conscious of how I portray myself. You know sometimes people online can be too generous, generous of their opinions, their thoughts, their corrections on grammar, on decisions, on everything about someone else’s life other than their own. With that, I noticed that I became more careful and started to curate whatever I put out online.
With all of those said, after some research, I realized that social media has given me anxiety. It made have frequent mood swings and it’s made me feel so tired all the time. It’s probably my cause for my deep eyebags! lol I know I am not alone to this and the first step on dealing with any mental condition is to address it and admit it to yourself. For me, it was the hardest part to do. It took a long time for me to but when I got that out of the way, that was when I started to find solutions to it :) Here they are:
1. Easier said than done: Don’t compare yourself to people you see online. I’m sure you’re saying this in your head, “WOW VERN REALLY?? How can you not??” Lol but I think the best way to do this is just to remember to look past what you don’t have and count your blessings. You’ll be surprised to find out that once you do, you have more than enough. However, if you feel like you want more, remember that one day, your time will come. That one day, all your hard work and perseverance will make you live the life you’re meant to have. God has written different and unique stories for us and one that He knows will make us the happiest. If we’re all meant to live the same freaking lives, won’t it be so predictable already???
2. Keep some parts of your life private. Leave the important ones for yourself and the people you love. You’re probably surprised for a blogger to be saying this but you’ll be shocked about what I don’t show and share on social media. Ofcourse, what I show you are always genuine and honest to God moments but the ones that make me laugh the hardest, the ones that make me cry of happiness, that exact minute where I’m truly kilig, you don’t see them and that makes those moments much more beautiful. When you keep these private and only for you and the people involved, you’ll notice that they are more than enough, even if they’re not picture perfect.
3. Be your own cheerleader. Now, we all have insecurities. It’s human nature to never be contented but social media has exposed us to all these beautiful people online. People who have waists like a coca cola bottle and the perfect boobies and a butt to match. Girls like Kendall Jenner, Miranda Kerr and @Emrata who make you feel like God seriously spent much more time designing. Now the worst, beautiful girls like Emma Watson and George Clooney’s wife who are not only beautiful on the outside but o m g who are smart and do things to make the world a better place. Be your own cheerleader, know the blessings you were born with and celebrate them. Once you concentrate on them, you’ll start to love yourself more and realize that hey, I’m someone to look up to in my own way.
4. Be everyone else’s cheerleader. Celebrate other people’s accomplishments and give out compliments because well, they are free. Be the reason why someone smiled today. Not because you want a compliment or comment back in return but like they say, “supporting another’s success won’t dampen yours.” Isn’t it weird that people nowadays would rather judge, complain or bash someone than give out positivity? What has the world become?
5. There’s always a dark story behind a success story. Always remember that it took a lot of patience and hard work to get somewhere and these people you see online who are excelling and achieving their dreams, it happened to them because they worked for it. By knowing this, no matter if you have connections or not and with money or not, you can achieve it too.
6. This should be the golden rule today: If someone posts a photo or video of me doing this, how will I feel? Alot of people’s downfall starts with a photo or video posted online. It can happen to anyone! So before bullying or posting anything that could be the cause of demise of someone else, ask yourself that question. If YOU were in their situation, how will you feel?
7. The world is one big circle, be careful with what you say and show, who you show and say it to and where you say and show it. Just remember that karma will get to you. Be careful because when the time comes that you’re in that situation, just remember the time you spent trying to hurt or cyber bully someone.
Hope these help you out today. Sending you digital hugs and hopefully I can give you one in person too! We all need a big bear hug :) I hope that my little pieces of advice will help you in some way. This is me reaching out and when you’re ready to share your frustrations or what you feel to someone just know that I’m an email or a DM away :) You’re not alone.
