I’ve been meaning to write this for awhile now. After going through a phase last year, I realized that the root of all this is my line of work. Social media can be a nightmare sometimes. The pressure one can feel to adhere to the standards of how one should live life and even how one should look is scary that it can mess up how you love yourself and the people around you. As a person who lived my teenage life sharing more than I should online, I know that sometimes that it’s hard to be contented with what you have because social media exposes you to people who seems like they have more and better than you do. I know that even if you’re not a blogger or an influencer, this is something anyone can feel. That’s why I think that the cases of depression on teens has skyrocketed in the recent years, during the boom of Instagram, where everyone seems to live a glamorous life. Keeping yourself sane and happy in the age of social media can be very difficult and no, I’m not always sane and happy but I do have some tricks that I’ve learned along the way to make you feel like that 90% of the time. I hope these steps help you one way or the other! :)
1. Easier said than done: Don’t compare yourself to people you see online. I’m sure you’re saying this in your head, “WOW VERN REALLY?? How can you not??” Lol but I think the best way to do this is just to remember to look past what you don’t have and count your blessings. You’ll be surprised to find out that once you do, you have more than enough. However, if you feel like you want more, remember that one day, your time will come. That one day, all your hard work and perseverance will make you live the life you’re meant to have. God has written different and unique stories for us and one that He knows will make us the happiest. If we’re all meant to live the same freaking lives, won’t it be so predictable already???
2. Keep some parts of your life private. Leave the important ones for yourself and the people you love. You’re probably surprised for a blogger to be saying this but you’ll be shocked about what I don’t show and share on social media. Ofcourse, what I show you are always genuine and honest to God moments but the ones that make me laugh the hardest, the ones that make me cry of happiness, that exact minute where I’m truly kilig, you don’t see them and that makes those moments much more beautiful. When you keep these private and only for you and the people involved, you’ll notice that they are more than enough, even if they’re not picture perfect.
3. Be your own cheerleader. Now, we all have insecurities. It’s human nature to never be contented but social media has exposed us to all these beautiful people online. People who have waists like a coca cola bottle and the perfect boobies and a butt to match. Girls like Kendall Jenner, Miranda Kerr and @Emrata who make you feel like God seriously spent much more time designing. Now the worst, beautiful girls like Emma Watson and George Clooney’s wife who are not only beautiful on the outside but o m g who are smart and do things to make the world a better place. Be your own cheerleader, know the blessings you were born with and celebrate them. Once you concentrate on them, you’ll start to love yourself more and realize that hey, I’m someone to look up to in my own way.
4. Be everyone else’s cheerleader. Celebrate other people’s accomplishments and give out compliments because well, they are free. Be the reason why someone smiled today. Not because you want a compliment or comment back in return but like they say, “supporting another’s success won’t dampen yours.” Isn’t it weird that people nowadays would rather judge, complain or bash someone than give out positivity? What has the world become?
5. There’s always a dark story behind a success story. Always remember that it took a lot of patience and hard work to get somewhere and these people you see online who are excelling and achieving their dreams, it happened to them because they worked for it. By knowing this, no matter if you have connections or not and with money or not, you can achieve it too.
6. This should be the golden rule today: If someone posts a photo or video of me doing this, how will I feel? Alot of people’s downfall starts with a photo or video posted online. It can happen to anyone! So before bullying or posting anything that could be the cause of demise of someone else, ask yourself that question. If YOU were in their situation, how will you feel?
7. The world is one big circle, be careful with what you say and show, who you show and say it to and where you say and show it. One of my greatest fears is actually waking up one day and a bad photo or video of me is going viral. I kind of got a taste of it when my SM Advantage campaign blew up on my face. I was in Europe at that time and I woke up to hundreds of notifications on my twitter account where people were making fun of me. To tell you honestly, I was affected for the first few minutes, worried and scared but after awhile, I just realized that it’s not worth my time and wrinkles! I mean I wasn’t hurting anyone and had no bad intentions so people who have nothing better to do but spread negativity and complaints online are not worth it all. Just remember that karma will get to you. Be careful because when the time comes that you’re in that situation, just remember the time you spent trying to hurt or cyber bully someone.
With the recent news of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committing suicide, I read this quote said by Bill Murray on depression, “Social media is training us to compare our lives, instead of appreciating everything we are. No wonder everyone is depressed.” I hope that my little pieces of advice will help you in some way. This is me reaching out and when you’re ready to share your frustrations or what you feel to someone just know that I’m an email or a DM away :) You’re not alone.