I’ve been writing posts dedicated to love ever since I started blogging and after writing what I’ve learned for almost 8 years now, I wanted this year’s to be different! :) I feel like I’ve said all I’ve discovered ever since my first serious relationship at 16 years old that I wanted to share love lessons the people I love learned on their own. Every couple has a different story to tell and I’m sure that you too can learn from them :)
Verne and Mylin: An Early Start at a Family.
Their story. My parents got married at a very young age. They were forced to give up their childhood when I took them by surprise at 17 years old. I can’t imagine how hard it was to make the decision to take the leap and start a family when they were both still in college. 24 years of marriage and 4 kids later, their relationship’s one of the few I know that will really last till they’re old and grey. I know I might sound biased and every child sugar coats what they see but their relationship has stood every trial imaginable. Literally through for richer or poorer, sickness and in health and through the good and bad. I’m sure that there were alot of problems that they’ve kept from us but they always get through things together, one that I will always admire about my parents :)
Verne’s advice. For those who got pregnant by surprise at a very young age, yari ka! hehehe but first and foremost, remember that you need the support of your parents and family for you to start your life. Don’t be proud about it and just ask for help. you and your partner to work especially when you’re young, you should always be one. If you’re not one in everything, even to the smallest details, it won’t work. Keep in mind that love is a continuous investment and will always be give and take.
Mylin’s advice. A young wife would have to give up a lot, her childhood, sometimes her education, her chance at having a career and most of the time, herself. But one thing you should remember is that loving and giving all that to your family will always be worth it because that I believe is the best gift you can give your husband. Always make time for one another even if you’re busy with work and your kids. Don’t make your husband feel second. Lastly, when the time comes that you feel like it’s time to give love to yourself, don’t feel guilty because when you’re a happy wife, you will have a happy home.
Manolo and Waway: 43 years of marriage.
Their story. My grandparents have been together for 43 years now and theirs is the longest one I know. I’ve actually always found their relationship very funny because it’s like looking into how my relationship will be with Ben 39 years from now. They’re both very different, their interests, choice of friends, hobbies, how they react to things, you name it. So different just like Ben and I. The way they’ve stayed together all these years gives me peace of mind that Ben and I can get through 43 years happily too just like they did! lol While they always argue over the smallest things, I know that they unconditionally love each other :)
Manolo’s advice. Two things to make a relationship last for me are first “guard what you say”. A hurting word or words can never be taken back and builds up the more you say them. Always be encouraging rather than talking a partner down. Second, keep your lines of communication open. Don’t shut yourself up even if you’re angry or hurt, always remember too that you are not perfect.
Wayway’s advice. Instead of asking for your partner to change things about them, always look at what’s wrong with yourself first and change what you think will make the relationship better. Remember that no matter what you do, a person will not change and for a relationship to work, you have to accept and love them for who they are, even with their shortcomings. As The Carpenters said,
But lately little changes
Have been slowly taking place
You’re always finding something
Is wrong in what I do
But you can’t rearrange my life
Because it pleases you
You’ve got lo love me
For what I am
For simply being me
Don’t love me
For what you intend
Or hope that I will be.
Maybelle and Sasa: Love Wins
Their story. My tita (aunt) Maybelle and Tita Sasa are one of the kindest and most genuine people I know. They are one of the strongest too when it comes to fighting for their love. Filipinos, as we all know, are still very traditional and don’t take same sex relationships lightly and my family wasn’t any different. I’m so happy that they’ve accepted it now but back then was a surely a trying time for both of them. They constantly had to keep proving to everyone that their love was real and it wasn’t just a “phase”. Their story’s an inspiration because they didn’t need to shout it to the world but rather, they proved it through how much they sacrificed for each other :) I think that’s why even if it was painful for my family at first, they’ve learned to love them together. We can’t even imagine them apart now!
Maybelle’s advice. To make your partner kilig/happy every single day should be one of your goals. Don’t forget to take her out even when life’s busy with work and kids. Talk about your dreams and future together. Not to say any hurtful words or comments when you’re arguing that you’ll regret later on. Try to think of good things about your partner instead of thinking of that little things that made you mad at that moment. I’m sure that little thing is nothing compared to the good moments you’ve shared.
Sasa’s advice. These are the things that I believe make our relationship work:
– Always make time for each other. No matter how busy life gets, make it a point to go on dates. It doesn’t have to be fancy all the time.
– Alot of people may not agree with this but your Tita was pretty adamant about this when we started going out, even back in college – we can’t be friends with exes. When we got back together in 2010, I had to stop talking to alot of people :P I guess it’s mainly respecting how your partner feels.
– Compromise. If there are things that you don’t agree on, find a middle ground. This way, noone
would feel that he or she is always sacrificing for the other.
– Encourage each other to do better.
Verniece: Believing In Love Again.
Her story. Verniece is the most cynical person I know when it comes to love. If you told her a year ago that you believe in forever, she will shoot you down. If you told her before, that your boyfriend will never cheat on you, she will tell you to your face to just accept that all boys will do. That’s how much of a cynical she was! But things changed late last year when she finally found love again :)
Verniece’s advice. You have to love and accept yourself before entering a relationship. Always make room for self growth and never lose yourself. May it be little things like pamper yourself once or twice a month, find a workout you enjoy, make time for your hobby. Next, don’t expect anything especially when it comes to love, learn to go with the flow, let life surprise you. Remember to give and take. To tell you the truth, Ive always been a selfish kind of person back then but i recently learned that this is formula should always be recriprocate by the other to make a relationship work. Don’t rush anything. Before entering a relationship, make sure you’ve made a great foundation of friendship, trust and respect. Because if you know all their baho (flaws) ad still accept them? That’s love. Lastly, remember that a person will come into your life and make you eat all the words you used to say about love and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else before.
Paul and Melissa: Two different worlds.
Their story. My tito Paul and tita Melissa met in college when my tita studied in Australia for college. She’s a Filipina and he’s South African. While both of them value family, their cultures are very distinct. As much as the world has become so much smaller because of technology, making a relationship work wherein you were raised with contrasting beliefs is surely hard work. They’ve been married for a decade now and they’re happier as ever even with all those differences :)
Melissa’s advice. Keep the romance alive! And it’s true that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach – easy for us because Filipino food is amazing so your tito loves it ;) I don’t see different cultures as a hindrance. In love, it’s all the same. You can’t help who you fall inlove with. As along as you both respect each other’s differences. The most important thing is that you have the same values. If you do, then it will work.
Alexander Enciso. Single Since Birth But Not Lonely.
His story. Alexander or AA, as we call him is a total catch that’s why it blew my mind when I realized while choosing the people I’ll include in this blogpost that he’s been single since birth. Literally no girlfriend since. He’s smart (he’s a future doctor), he’s well read, his interests are very geeky but you know the Adam Brody kind of geek, he’s handsome, very old world looks, basically if I met him in college, I’d date him (not in the weird kind okay!!!!). But things always happen for a reason and I know that there’s just someone so great reserved for him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d go home from a trip abroad one day and he’s suddenly married to a Princess from a far away land or the woman who found cure to cancer :)
AA’s advice. One thing I have learned from being single most of my life is how love is one thing we should not simply jump into then and there, but at the same time not too calculated in that it loses its essence. Heart and mind must work hand in hand in finding the right one. Most of the time it’s the person you least expect. Time is also an essential since through it is each of us somewhat tested in terms of how serious one is towards developing his or her relationship with a certain individual. It is also time that dictates when the ‘right time is’.
Ben and Vern: Long Distance Relationships Work Too.
It’s time to hear from Ben!
Ben’s advice. Being in a long distance relationship taught me alot of things and made grow as a person as well. As simple as saying good morning and good night regularly can make a big difference. Planning your next adventure together will always spice up and lengthen your relationship regardless of how long you and your partner have not seen each other. Always have something to look forward to for it to work.
There you have it! I hope you can share with me your own love advices on the comment section below. Write a little something about your story, too! :) I would love to hear your side of the story. Hope you enjoyed this :)