Its currently 7:51 pm London time right now and here I am sitting in a very messy – pre packing stage hotel room. I was in the middle of slowly packing our things for our trip home to Manila when I suddenly had this urge to blog and write about something I’ve been meaning to for quite awhile now. I went through a very weird phase a few months ago and finally, I think I’ve recovered from it.
It started after my trip to New York for my birthday. I just felt uninspired, confused and worried about my life in general. I just found myself annoyed at the most random things at the most random times of the day, I had no urge to blog nor work, I mostly wanted to just be by myself and was very unsure about what I’m doing and my future. I found myself asking if blogging is still the right career of choice for me given that it’s almost 2 years since I graduated and it might be too late for me to find a job if this doesn’t work out or if making the decision to focus on both fashion AND travel was the right thing to do.
I’m human and I did what we, humans, naturally do – blame it first on the nearest thing I could find which is my frequent travels. I thought that because I was never home, I’m losing grasp of what home really meant to me and if even the Philippines was even the country I should be staying in. Even the fact that my body clock’s gone wonky and I’m the type of person who’s mood heavily depends on my sleep and coffee intake. I sometimes even blamed it on my time of the month, “I just kept telling myself that nah, you’re just PMS-ing! It’s just your hormones playing tricks on you.” I had too much thoughts in my head and I literally blamed it on everything I could think of. I was even panicking because the last time I experienced this was the worst part yet of my 23 years of existence so I was anxious that I’ll go back to that dark time again.
However, after alot of really bad writing, lazy days, procrastinating, 4 countries, dozens of comfort food when I feel like crying, wine, a new Instagram filter and time, I’m happy to say that think I’m over the phase! :) Ofcourse, to remind myself and to share just for those who are going through what I’m going through, here are what I learned:
1. This time is God’s way of telling you to slow things down. Everything’s too fast phased now a days that maybe you’re starting to lose sight of your blessings. This is what I realized, I have so much to be thankful for and you do too :)
2. This time is a reality check. Maybe there’s a reason why you’re doubting some things in you life. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of making you reassess how you live and if it’s making you evolve and grow.
3. Try something new. This may sound really shallow but I started with a new Instagram filter then moved on to bigger things like I changed my daily routine and then I had that 3 day stint of solo traveling in Korea.
4. You need a breather or even just breathing, literally. You just need a change of scenery. Maybe you’ve been spending too much time with work or maybe you’ve been spending too much time alone and need time with friends or the other way around. Just step aside from your usual environment. Also breathe! 1… 2… 3…
5. I was paranoid one time so I googled my “symptoms” just to check if I’m starting to go crazy and well, google says that I was going thorugh a quarter life crisis. Maybe you are too. Google says its normal. So just remember, you’re still normal and what you’re going through is normal.
6. Talk to someone you trust about it. That’s what I did and just hearing about my problem out loud just made me realize that I’m just in a funk and that I’m even stupid of wanting to change my current life! :)
There you go! Hope you get out of yours :)