I’m not going to pretend that I’m some love guru over here but I’ve been in 2 relationships that lasted for years and in a very happy and loving one that I think I can somehow qualify to actually give in to this request! I’ve been getting this topic suggestion for years now and I’m finally writing it! haha :) It must be because Ben and I are celebrating one year a few days from now and I’m getting all touchy feely about it :)
To all you girlfriends out there reading this and boyfriends who were linked to this page, I hope that my little keys will help you out especially for those who are still new to relationships or has been but in a new one :) To those of you who want to add lessons you’ve learned yourselves, please do comment and share them to me :) Would love to read about them! Okay, I’m stalling already soooo… here they are! :P
1. Say I love you, I miss you, I need you and thank you in abundance. These are magic phrases we seem to neglect and take advantage of especially once we’ve hit the comfort stage. We were taught to believe that actions speak louder than words but who wouldn’t want to hear these too right? Say it, as long as you mean it, every day as much as you want :)
2. Say sorry when it’s your fault and learn to forgive when it’s his/hers. When you’ve said sorry, learn from that mistake and never do it again. When you’ve forgiven, learn to let it go. Easier said than done, I myself have a hard time because I like being right, but I’m sure this will save a lot of future fights :)
3. Never stop dating each other. It’s normal to get comfortable especially when you’re + years already but there are some couples who reach this stage even way before they hit the one year mark and nothing’s wrong with this. People spend most of their lives waiting and searching for the right kind of person they can be completely comfortable with so this is something to actually be joyous about. However, the mistake in here is when you stop dating each other, stop wooing each other, stop challenging each other and stop growing. Alittle trick I’ve learned here is look back to the time when you were still in your early stages and pin point the things that made you fall in love with each other and never stop doing it :) Go on adventures, still open the door, give her flowers, cook him food, text long chessy good morning messages, etc :)
4. No matter how busy you get, always set aside “alone time” during the day for the both of you. It can be over lunch, dinner, the ride home or even just an hour conversation over the phone if you two can’t see each other that day. While Ben and I don’t have this privilege, we do this by talking on Skype before we sleep! :) Even after almost a year of doing this, I still get excited to :)
5. Don’t stop being the person you were before the relationship. This is the advice my mom and grandparents always give me and what I’ve personally realised is that when you’re happy with yourself and your personal life, may it be your career, your hobbies or your interests, you radiate the same kind of happiness in the relationship :) So don’t stop having a goal or dreams for yourself just make sure that in that little imagination of yours, it’s your boy/girlfriend’s hand you’re holding when all of these come true :)
6. Apply the golden rule of life to your relationship. It’s pretty simple: Don’t do something you wouldn’t your partner to do to you or if it’s still not clear to you, ask yourself this, “If she/he would do this to me, how would I feel?” This kind of summarises all the advices anyone can give about cheating, respect or making big decisions.
7. Learn to compromise. Both of you can have your own way as long as you both learn to tell each other properly what you want and meet in the middle. This way no one will feel resented or arguments won’t stack up only for it to tumble in the future for you to fight about again and again :)
8. Make the conscious effort to try the things your partner likes doing, listening to, eating, etc.
9. Get love advice from couples you look up to or people who have been in promising and lasting ones. I’ve made mistakes to take or ask advice from people who have no experience in being in one so sometimes my mind just gets more confused on what to do. Get advice from your mom, your grandmother, or anyone who knows better than you.
10. Be yourself and have fun. As much as it’s nice to keep your best foot forward, I’ve always been the type of person to actually show my true self already even during the early stages just to save me time. If he can’t handle me, then at least I know and if you can’t stand his true self, then at least you know. Who wouldn’t want to be with someone who you know accepts you despite your little quirks, your snoring, your farting, your penchant for speaking with your mouth or your uncontrollable emotional (and puking) state when you’ve had a few drinks? Or all the more who actually finds you fun and loves you all he more because of all of these? :)
Top and Pants from Mango, Shoes from ASIAN FASHION FOR LESS, Bag and necklace from Kate Spade, Heart necklace from SWEET CHARMS MANILA, Pearl necklace from FOR ME